Yesterday evening I accompanied my youngest daughter to her Faith Formation class. At the start the priest approached the pulpit and solemnly announced, “Our meditation this evening is on relationships. Good relationships take years to build. And one minute to destroy.”
Ain’t that the truth?
Relationships are not like savings accounts. You can’t make a lot of great deposits and then one day stop investing. Everything you’ve put into it will not remain pristine if you let it stagnate. If you stop giving to a relationship it will deteriorate.
Think of it this way: I’ve put a lot of effort into raising my children. I have rocked them as infants and played with them as toddlers. I’ve planned elaborate birthdays, hosted play dates, doled out loving discipline and made sure they ate their carrots.
But what if one day I woke up and just said, “Yeah, I’ve been mother of the year all of my adult life. I’ve done a great job. They’re good. I’m just going to go over here now.” I don’t think so. That’s actually called abandonment and it’s not even legal if the children are under 18. Or what if I stayed but just stopped being nice to them? That’s not legal either and it’s actually called abuse.
Relationships require you put forth a regular honest effort. If you take them for granted they will tiptoe away in the night and you’ll be left wondering how that great thing you once had turned to loud silence and dusty fragments.
Think about the relationships in your life that aren’t where you want them to be. Do you want a better relationship with your parents? Call them more often. Is your teenager becoming distant? Go for a Dairy Queen run and catch up on life over an Oreo blizzard. Have you been short and demanding of the people in your life who mean the most to you? Try bigger helpings of humility and eliminate criticism.
One of my favorite songs is "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas, it encapsulates the concept of life's beauty residing in the little things:
Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain
Relationships not only take years to build but years to maintain. If the relationships in your life aren’t where you want them to be, the good news is you’re the one who can save them.
One small hour and one small minute.
At a time.
******************************
P.S. Sooooo sorry, dear readers, for the giant hiatus from the blog! I have no excuse. Well, I do have an excuse and it's called "wonderful guy descended into my life." Yes. It's true. Audra got a boyfriend and went, "Blog?!?!? What blog?!?" I think I'm coming out of the lovesick haze now so I pinky swear I'll be blogging more regularly again. See you Monday!
