The Dating Land Mail Bag

Every once in a while, I feel it necessary to put my fans in the spotlight. After all, the deluge of emails I get do help to fuel the solitary existence of my writing.

It’s really quite odd to me sometimes to actually comprehend how many people do read this thing. But more than that, it never ceases to amaze me how many people relate to what I write. Ever since the “I caught my boyfriend on a date with another woman at Granite City” story I get a lot of letters from people (men and women) who’ve just gone through a break up of their own. The stories and circumstances are varied, but the heartbreak?

It’s all the same.

Some of the letters I receive epitomize the power of a positive attitude and the ability to move forward and heal, such as this one:

I am thankful for the season of laughter with him and I must move forward. Tonight I am strong. Tomorrow I will be strong. I won't stop looking for love. I am one of God's beautiful daughters. I will be cherished and loved.

(This letter choked me up. What a positive outlook. These words were from a woman whose husband insisted they move across the country for his job, and once they were settled he announced he’d been having an affair for years and was leaving her.)

But some other letters? Well, they take a little different approach:

My ex boyfriend would be less of a sore spot if I were capable of developing feelings for anyone else. I don't know why I can't - I've got a veritable forest of d*ck at my disposal, so it's not like my options are all that limited, I'm just totally, wholeheartedly apathetic. Oh, and closed off.

(Oh trust me, I laughed so hard at the forest analogy I almost choked! But truly, with sarcasm like that as a life preserver? I think she’s going to be just fine!)

And some, well? They’re just brutally honest:

I just got done reading your most recent post on Dating Land, and I want to say, it really got me thinking. It also made me cry a bit because it reminded me of my life. I too, have had guys in my life lately who have made me cry. However, I have been really trying hard to be strong. I've told myself I don't "need a boyfriend" and that I should be strong and independent, etc. But your post reassured me that wanting love in my life is "nothing to be ashamed of." I also love that quote you put in one of your previous posts... "No guy is worth crying over, because the one who is won't make you cry." However, as you put it, I am human, and sometimes the pain just comes out despite my efforts to prevent it. Then I just can't stop the tears. Anyway, I wanted you to know I'm reading your posts, and am definitely getting something out of them, as I can really relate to your situation.

And so . . . thanks for reading, and thanks for writing. I’ll continue to document life’s journey and hopefully the connection that my writing provides makes everyone out there feel a little less alone in their very human experiences.

In truth, I think that anyone currently in their own version of Dating Land is any one of the above depending on the day. Sometimes positive and strong, sometimes apathetic and closed off, and sometimes just surrending to the reality that it can be overwhelming and even sad.

But wherever you are today on the journey, I do still want to perpetuate one perspective and that is this one:

Everyone deserves.

To be cherished.

And loved.

And that includes.

You.