Living and Learning

I am Catholic so I am not really the “devotional” kind. You know. Those little books with the daily bible verses? We Catholics like to leave the memorizing to the Protestants. I mean really. At no time did Jesus ever say the words "pop quiz."

But when I went through my divorce I broke the mold and picked up a devotional, this one was written by Kristen Armstrong. She wrote it after Lance Armstrong left her for Cheryl Crow. I love Cheryl Crow, but Lance is still a dick wad. I’m just saying.

Anyhoo, the former Mrs. Armstrong authored a devotional in her divorce aftermath and titled it, “Happily Ever After; Living with Peace and Courage through a year of Divorce.”

I loved it.

Every day I’d read my bible verse. And every day I’d read Kirsten’s application of it to her life post-divorce. I felt like I truly had a kindred spirit in this awful experience and was so grateful for her words.

When I finished the book and made it through my own first year of divorce, I loaned it to my best friend, Naomi. She’d been divorced for a while but I thought she may also find it comforting. She loved it so much she continues to announce ,“Oh, this is a Kristen Happily Ever After moment!” whenever she stumbles upon circumstance where the book’s wisdom is applicable.

Today was one of those days.

I made a mistake today. Not a huge mistake, not an illegal mistake, but a big fat whoops mistake. It was at work and involved spreadsheets. And software quotes. And formulas.

I’m smart but I’m an English major. Numbers are against my religion.

Long story short I made a whopper of an error that required me to eat my margin in order to honor an incorrect number I’d given a client. I was horrified with myself. When I told my manager, what do you think he said? Well, if I were him I would have said something like, “Nice one, Einstein.” Or started in on a well-deserved lecture about responsibility and haste.

But did he do that?

No. He did not.

Instead he told me that all people are imperfect. And that in the long run, it’s a mistake that does not matter in the grand scheme of things. And that he hired me because of my humility. And that I will find a graceful way to right the wrong with the client. And probably win more business in the long run because of it.

I couldn’t stop the tears.

Instead of a lecture, I received compassion. Instead of chastisement, I received encouragement.

I was overcome with the thought, “When have I exhibited compassion on this level?”

Probably not very often. When people make mistakes I am quick to point them out. I am critical. I am judgmental. And not very forgiving.

Words fail how humbling this moment was for me. I felt very undeserving of this compassion.

Instead of a lecture he instead chose to remind me of my good qualities, of my value as an employee, and of his strong belief in my ability to right a wrong with grace and dignity.

I was blown away.

Later that day when I shared this experience with Naomi, her response was immediate. “We are called to forgive because we have been forgiven. To love because we have been loved.”

“Bible verse?” I inquire.

“Nope,” Naomi explains, “It is Kirsten Armstrong’s take on Ephesians 4:31-32.”

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

I thought a lot about that verse and came to this conclusion:

Not only are our mistakes and lessons learned an integral part of our own life’s journey, but how we respond to the mistakes of others is probably the biggest test of all.

I guess this means Kristen's probably forgiven the dick wad.

Whoops.

I mean.

Lance Armstrong.