Perfectly Perfect.

I am at the age where I think I definitely know who I am. At least I hope so.

I’ve lived long enough to have a pretty good handle on my strengths, weaknesses, gifts, and flaws. And trust me, the flaws list is long! But over the years I truly think I’ve been able to transform one of those negatives into a positive. And that is this: my anal retentive inability to accept anything less than perfection.

This honestly isn’t the worst quality in the world . Asking nothing less than your best of yourself is a great thing. But when you begin to apply it to others? Yeah. Uber bee-otch. All the way. Case in point, back in my 20’s I think I truly made several people’s lives miserable, probably my family’s most of all. I am a neat freak and nazi when it comes to how I think things should be done. The bed is made this way, the towels are folded this way, and if you put that non-dishwasher safe Pampered Chef ice cream scoop in the dishwasher one more time I am going to smack you with it.

Thankfully, the good Lord allowed me to live long enough to do something quite necessary with that attitude:

Grow up and get over it.

Eventually I learned to pick my battles and stop flipping out over an ice cream scoop. Or maybe just to stop buying things that aren’t dishwasher safe and the complications that those decision introduce into my domestic harmony.

Don’t get me wrong. I did not give up my perfectionist ways. I just tried to direct them somewhere healthier: at myself.

For example, I try to soak up human wisdom as often as I can by reading books that nurture my heart and soul. One of my favorites is Dale Carnegie’s classic self help book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” which I read at least once year. I’d never really been an anxious person but I just loved “How to Win Friends and Influence People” so much I instantly made it my life’s goal to read everything Dale Carnegie ever wrote. (In fact, the man is so inspiring that if a copy of a grocery list he once jotted down showed up on an episode of Pawn Stars I just may need to make a pilgrimage to Las Vegas to buy that sucker!)

They are classic books published almost a century ago, but the attitudes Carnegie touts are as vital to emotional human growth today as ever.

My teenage daughter is dealing with some of the expected anxiety of adolescence and I suggested the other day that she delve into the book. I read the first chapter aloud to her and we laughed and nodded together as we related to Carnegie’s plethora of analogies and anecdotes. From Jesus telling us to concentrate only on our daily bread (not yesterday’s stale bread, and not where on earth we’ll find bread two weeks from now in case we lose our jobs or a natural disaster occurs) to stories of people of mundane intellect who accomplished amazing things simply by doing the best they could one day at a time.

Give us this day our daily bread.

Exploring these mindsets and concepts over the years has solidified my perfectionist approach to life. I do my best every day. And I do not worry about tomorrow. And I don’t lose any sleep. I don’t wonder what’s going to happen. I just know whatever happens will be fine and I couldn’t have changed it.

Because I just did the very best I could with what I had.

That day.

Perfectionism can be a strength if used correctly. As long as our measurements are only made against ourselves and it is applied realistically it can bring great peace. And even joy.

I have several life accomplishments of which I am quite proud of as a result: my daughters, my career, my friendships, and even this blog. And they all exist because I gave thanks for the gifts I had that day, did the best I could with them, and enjoyed my daily bread with no thought toward the yesterdays I’d left behind or the tomorrows I cannot control.

As a result no one has been yelled at for dishwasher infractions in my house for well over a decade. And some days the beds just aren’t made right but everyone still sleeps comfortably.

Life is great but it is not because I’m perfect (hardly!) It’s because I always give nothing less than my best.

And the life that results is perfect.

For me.
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Thanks for a great weekend, Mr. H. I think the dollar mocha, comfy seats, and inspiring message was one of my favorite parts...next to you. Muah!