Naomi the Nut

I really should just follow Naomi around and record every word she says. It would make blogging easier for me because every time she talks I pee my pants.

Some Naomi-isms from the week.

On her teenage son learning to drive:

"I told my 14 year-old son he could get a driver's permit and put it in his wallet. Sure, that part's fine. I did not tell him he could put me in a car and drive ME around in the car. I draw the line."

On my venting about how I want more communication from someone I dated once:

"It's not like you're asking for much. The guy never talks to you. I mean really, what you're asking for something is more than zero. Like one. Or even half of one. Since when is a percentage high maintenance?"

Her response to her kids asking her for money:

"What do I look like? The Bank of A-Mom-ica?"

A petty reason she gave for not wanting to go out on a second date with a guy who clearly was concerned about her well-being:

"He said "drive safe. It's not "drive safe" it's "drive safely." I can't be expected to date someone who wants me to "drive safe."

And finally, the reason she actually did date someone with poor grammar for far too long:

"What can I say? He passed the orals . . . "



Thanks for the laughter, my dear friend. I'm off to buy some Depends now because I just can't hold it in when you're around . . .

~Audra